#107. 좆만하다, 좆밥 -- You couldn't be any more irrelevant

Here is a word that shows the viciousness of the Korean internet users.

Let's start with the word "좆," which I explained in a previous post; in short, it is a vulgar slang for "penis," and it is used in several expressions that are meant for insult, or for venting one's frustration. The word I want to talk about in this post is also based on the word "좆," but it is a bit more insult-like than just saying "좆같다 (despite the vulgarity, it mostly just means "it sucks")"

I love puppies!

Say that you are arguing with a user online about a topic (in the Korean internet lingo, we say that you're engaged in a "키보드배틀," or that you are "키배뜬다".) During the exchange, it becomes clear to you that the other user has no idea what he is talking about. Perhaps you are arguing about the best computer specifications to play some game, and it is clear that the other user only has beginner's level equipment.

One way to insult him is to say

"좆만한 새끼야, 까불지 마" (Don't brag, you baby.)

"까불다" is a verb that means to frolic to draw attention, or be overly cheery and loud. It is used to describe the class clowns, or a little child cheerfully and loudly showing off some random skill that he learned from his friends. It can just be a positive quality (focusing on the cheery and outgoing part of the personality) or it can be a negative quality (focusing on the fact that the person likes to be in the centre of attention, regardless of whether they deserve it or not).

"좆만하다" means that you believe that your listener is about as big as a penis (and the underlying assumption is, of course, that the penis in question is tiny!) So by drawing this comparison, you are implying that the listener only has a small bit of experience, and that they are no more than a baby and a newbie. (As an aside, "-만하다" is a comparison in size; "사과만하다" means "as big as an apple," etc.)

But then you can go one level higher, and tell him:

"좆밥같은 새끼가 어디서 까불어?" (Look where you're bragging, you irrelevant sh*t!)

The insult is in the word "좆밥." We already know that the letter "좆" means "penis." From the phrase "좆밥같은," you can tell that the above sentence is comparing your opponent in your keyboard battle to a penis. (Another aside, "-같은" is a comparison in quality; "사과같다" means "looks/feels like an apple")

However, there is so much more than that to this insult.

The letter "밥" has many meanings; while its primary meaning is "boiled rice," this is not what it means in this case. The letter "밥" also means "crumbs," especially the residue left after working on some material with tools. So, in Korean, "sawdust" is "톱밥," literally "saw crumbs."

Other words that use this suffix are "귓밥" (ear crumbs, i.e. earwax; this is actually not correct according to the dictionary -- it should mean earlobes, but Koreans use it to mean earwax anyway) and "실밥" (the threads forming the stitches after an injury).

So what in the world is "좆밥"? Koreans use it to mean the residue left on the folds of your penis when you don't wash it carefully. Disgusting, I know. So you are basically insulting your opponent by saying that they are so irrelevant, and that they are more or less equivalent to the residue on your penis.

The skater Adelina Sotnikova is often referred to as "형광나방," or "fluorescent moth" among the Koreans.

So, for example, the Koreans still hate the figure skater Adelina Sotnikova, because they believe that she stole the gold medal that rightfully belongs to Kim Yuna (and all things considered, Kim Yuna has much better records than Adelina Sotnikova). So they might say:

"김연아 좆밥새끼가 까부네." (That b*tch who is about as relevant as the residue on Kim Yuna's penis (?!?!?!) is bragging again.)

It sounds awkward when you think about its meaning, since Kim Yuna surely doesn't have a penis! Yet this phrase does get used, because the Koreans don't think carefully about the etymology of the insult words; they know that "좆밥" means "not even worthy of comparison" but they rarely think about what the word actually means.

This is possibly one of the reasons why Korean profanity tends to be a lot more aggressive and extreme compared to the English profanity. While most of the anglophone profanity retain their meaning, the Korean profanity does not; as soon as a word becomes popular, people usually become desensitized to the actual meaning behind the words, and they are off to find the next exciting word soon afterwards.

If you wanted to be slightly less vulgar while conveying the same meaning, you can say instead:

"김연아 발톱의 때만도 못한게 까부네" (That b*tch who is less relevant than the residue on Kim Yuna's toenail residues is bragging again.)

While conveying approximately the same idea, this word uses words from the dictionary, and is much less of a slang.

In any case, I would refrain from using this word in real life, but if you ever engage in a keyboard battle, go ahead and use it, by all means! It is definitely an insult, but not the one that the listener would take very seriously. You might occasionally see your very close male friends use it on each other (if you are male), but I would not want to be the one to initiate the usage of this word, especially if you are not familiar with the Korean words and their nuances.