"이거 먹어" (Eat this; imperative)
"이거 먹어봐." (Try this; strongly suggestive)
"이거 먹어볼래?" (Do you want to try this?; weakly suggestive)
"이거 먹어줘." (Please eat this; strong request)
"이거 먹어줄 수 있어?" (Could you eat this for me?; weak request)
"이거 혹시 먹어줄 수 있어?" (Could you possibly eat this for me?; careful weak request)
"이거 혹시 먹어봐줄 수 있어?" (Could you possibly try eating this for me?; very careful weak request)Very small changes to the verb can completely change the meaning of a sentence. This makes the Korean language very ambiguous; even if what someone said sounded rude, you have to wonder whether they actually meant to be rude, or if they misspoke. This also makes the Koreans hyper-aware of nuance of the language.
In Korean, we call this "어감," or the feeling ("감," as in "감정 emotion" or "예감 premonition") of the words ("어," as in "단어 word" or "영어 English language"). It is very important to choose the words that convey the right "어감." One wrong conjugation, and you might inadvertently offend the listener. As such, we have many proverbs that describe the importance of nuance.
"말 한 마디가 천냥빚을 갚는다." (One phrase can repay the loan of a thousand gold coins; around $400k USD, if you must know!)Another proverb goes:
"아 다르고 어 다르다." ("아" is different from "어"; the smallest things make a difference in nuance.)This one is, of course, harder to translate. It is simply saying that while the two korean vowels "ㅏ" and "ㅓ" are very similar in looks and sounds, depending on where you apply it, it can make a difference. For example, "이거 먹어" and "이거 먹어봐줄수 있어?" have very different 어감 to the listener. While the first is an order, the second conveys that the speaker respects my wishes, and that the speaker is afraid of offending me with this (probably innocuous) request.
Koreans are exposed to these subtle nuances from birth; so these two requests are likely to bring out very different reactions in Koreans, much more so than the Westerners. And so the Koreans often obsess over what seems like a useless point.
Today, I was browsing the Korean online forum "Pann," whose users are primarily schoolgirls in their teens (but women of all ages frequent this website). There, I saw an amazing comment by one of the users, who was agonizing over how to answer in the affirmative to friends on Kakaotalk (the Korean version of texting.) Here is her text:
She writes,
"Everyone, saying "응" feels like I'm standoffish or not friendly enough, and "엉" sounds like I'm not putting enough thought into it. Is it just me? I'm not so sure. Then "웅" sounds like I'm trying to be cute, "앙" is even worse, and "옹" is Sungwoo. Is "응응" the best...?"
Here, "응," "엉," "웅," "앙," "옹," and "응응" are just some of the different ways the Koreans say "yes" when texting. Over time, each of these words, while meaning exactly the same thing, gained nuances (or 어감) of their own. And now the Koreans must pay attention to what subtle undertone they are conveying besides saying "yes."
While saying "응" is grammatically the most correct, she fears that this feels too formal and standoffish; because it is too correct, it is not giving off enough of the friendly vibe.
"엉" indeed gives off the vibe of not paying enough attention into the conversation. It used to be the case that a lot of men would respond "어" in order to say "yes," and when they didn't have much else to say. In conforming with the international stereotype that men are bad at texting, the male version of "yes" also got the nuance that not enough attention is being given to the conversation at hand. Although one can improve it a little by adding the extra "ㅇ," it feels like an afterthought after you have already responded with the "male yes."
As an aside, an even worse way to say "yes" is "ㅇㅇ." A lot of Korean males will use this to say "yes" to their annoying little sisters, or very close male friends, for example! And what a terrible nuance; they can't even be bothered to move their hands away from the keyboard to press different keys.
"웅" and "앙" are mostly used by women, when they are trying to say "yes" to their boyfriends, in an effort to show aegyo. So it does seem a little bit too much to be using this to your female friends!
And then she makes a tiny joke that "옹" (which you could use to say "yes" but is not super common) is "Sungwoo" -- "옹성우" is a Korean celebrity who is currently a member of the boy band Wanna One. He is known for his shockingly good looks, and his extremely unique last name "Ong." Because of his popularity, the syllable "옹" will evoke in the minds of the listeners the singer Ong Sungwoo -- especially if the listener is a teenage girl!
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| This man shocked the nation with his good looks in the reality program Produce 101 Season 2; he was selected to be in the boy band by placing in the top 11 out of 101 contestants. |
Finally, she settles for "응응." Enough grammar has been broken that she is not putting unnecessary distance between herself and the lucky recipient of her thoughtful "yes"; she is not trying too hard to be cute, and since she wrote TWO letters for a simple "yes," she is clearly engaged in the exchange!
Such is the stress of being a native Korean speaker -- for a Korean, nuance is everything.
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