#127. 존나 -- As f***

I am back from my hiatus with another penis post!

The korean colloquial word for "penis" is "고추," which also means "chili pepper." Presumably it just derives from their shapes.

The word "존나" has become such a classic slang word that I don't imagine it going anywhere. It was popular in the 90s when I was a kid, it is still extremely popular now (in fact, I am told that it was already popular in the 70s and 80s). So in short, every Korean knows what this word means.

To start, here are some examples of the uses for this word.

"선생님이 별것도 아닌걸 가지고 잔소리하는데 존나 짜증났어." (The teacher was nagging at me for nothing, and I was annoyed as f***)

"무슨 밥이 한공기에 만원이야? 존나 비싸네!" (How is a bowl of rice 10,000 won? That's expensive as f***)

"어제 영화보는데 내동생이 옆에서 존나 떠들어서 존나 패버리고싶었어." (My brother wouldn't f***ing shut up while I was watching a movie last night, and I wanted to f***ing beat him up.)

As you can see, the word "존나" is a pretty good translation of the f-word in English, both in its vulgarity and in its meaning. Just like how you expect a bunch of rowdy teenagers roaming the bars at night to be throwing the f-bombs everywhere, the main users of the word "존나" in Korea are also young men with rebellious streaks, and even then, only among close friends or in a fight.

Of course, more people tend to use it on the internet, because internet knows neither the age nor the gender of the speaker (and the Korean internet is a lawless wasteland.)

The word "좆," an extremely vulgar slang word for "penis," has been covered several times in this blog (not because I'm obsessed with it, but because so much of the Korean slang is based on sexuality!) For example, see 좆같다, 좆만하다, and 인실좆.

In this case, the word "좆" has been changed to "존," because the word "존나" comes from the phrase "좆나다," which pronounces exactly like "존나다," shortened to "존나." Well, can you guess what it means?

Here is a photo of a newborn sprout. In Korean, we might say "새싹이 나다 (Sprout has sprouted)."

It is a composition of the noun "좆 (penis)" and the verb "나다 (comes into existence, sprouts, grows, etc.)" You probably guessed it, "좆나다" quite literally means "penis has grown" or "erection."

So for example, the phrase "This pastry is so good that it's giving me an erection = This pastry is good AF" would translate to "빵이 존나게 맛있네," or "빵 존나 맛있네."

Since there is literally no other Korean word that involves the letter "좆" other than the extremely vulgar slang word for "penis," many internet communities will police themselves into blocking any posts that uses the word "좆," or even "좆나" and "존나," so this word has an amazing number of variants. The most common of these is "ㅈㄴ," using just the constants. Other variants include "조낸, 줜나, 졸라, 절라, 존내, 줠라, ..." all of which are vulgar as f***!

So, once again, I would refrain from using these words unless you're a male person into your third drink with your closest male friends (don't even use it in the presence of women... Yes, I know it sounds sexist, but Korea has a longer way to go towards gender equality, and it's better to play it safe than to make a huge faux pas in my opinion!)

Some softened form of this word exists. One is "열라," which comes from "열나다" (to be heated up.) While still not suitable for polite company, this will at least not earn as many frowns if you accidentally say it too loudly in a crowded subway.

For example, you could be having a snack with your girl friends, and say

"와 이 떡볶이 열라매워! 스트레스가 확 풀린다" (Omg, this 떡볶이 is spicy as f***! I feel like all of my stress disappeared.)

Unfortunately, the etymology of this word is a little bit more questionable (the avoidance of the word "penis" is what makes it a little less vulgar). Story has it that "열라" comes from the fact that if you have an extremely vigorous sex, you can heat up your 좆 via the friction.

Yeah.

In the similar vein, sometimes the older generation will use the phrase "좆빠지게," which means to the point where your penis falls off. Stretch your imagination in the context of sex, and deduce for yourselves why this is used as an exaggeration or a strong affirmation of an adjective. For example, you can say

"좆빠지게 일했는데 월급은 겨우 130이네." (I worked my penis off, and my paycheque for the month is only $1300 USD = 1,300,000 Korean won.)

No one believes me when I say that Korean is an extremely vulgar language. Maybe I will pique your interest if I say that literally no one on the internet will be offended by you using the word "존나." You can do much, much worse!

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#121. 도화살 -- Fated to be attractive (Shamanism 11, feat. Sulli, IU)

My mom was just in Korea for a visit, and on her way back, she brought back some Korean cosmetics for me (if you ever visit Korea, remember that these make the best souvenir gifts!) She excitedly told me that she chatted to the store clerk, and got some of the most popular cosmetics items for me, including these eyeshadows in the photo below. Alas, the Korean popularity does not necessarily translate to something that is wearable as a daily makeup in North America.

Thanks, mom! Believe it or not, I'm sincere.

While I was a little taken aback by these colours, I was willing to give it a try. And I knew exactly what kind of look I would be aiming for. One of the most popular makeup trends today is called "도화살 메이크업" (makeup "메이크업" in the style of "도화살," which honestly has no translation in English.) Long story short, the Korean women are trying to imitate the looks of the popular celebrity Sulli (설리) by using red or pink coloured makeup items. Yet, it's not that they are trying to be Sulli (who has had her share of scandals, and many Koreans do not look kindly upon her).

Sulli is one of my favourite Korean celebrities! She is so beautiful, and so interesting (although she has her faults).

Let's start at the very beginning.

Many Koreans believe in what we call "사주팔자." Most Koreans take this word to mean "fate," and they believe in it with a reserved respect. While almost no one puts a blind faith in 사주팔자, people generally don't mind having their 사주팔자 told every once in a while (traditionally, people want to hear their 사주팔자 on New Year's Day, and before their wedding, or other big life events). In Korean, you say:

"나 내일 사주보러 가려고" (I'm going to get my 사주팔자 told tomorrow -- you often shorten it to just "사주".)

The way 사주팔자 works is very mysterious to me; the idea is that based on when you're born (the year, month, day, as well as the time of your birth -- these four (사) data points are the pillars (주) of your purpose on earth, by which you are assigned a role in life -- you are assigned eight (팔) Hanja characters (자). In this age of technology, you can find these eight Hanja characters by an online calculator, for example, here (fill in the first line only; these are your birth year, month, date, hour, minute, and location (You probably want to enter the time of your birth in Korean time, but I'm not sure.) Then click "만세력 (Manse calendar)").

These eight Hanja letters written in four columns (from left to right, time, day, month, and year), if interpreted correctly, supposedly tells you of your course of life, and the role you were given by the skies.

Of course, actually interpreting them correctly is said to take decades of learning and practice. As a result, of all the shamanistic beliefs that exist in Korea, the people who engage in the interpretation of 사주팔자 are probably one of the most socially accepted (some people don't even include them in the category of shamans, preferring to view them as "the wise," if you will; some people learn how to interpret these as a hobby).

By interpreting these columns correctly, you can perceive your good fortunes (called "신"), and your misfortunes ("살"). So Koreans would often talk about "신살," which are your good and bad fortunes. As you might have guessed, the word "도화살" is a type of "살", a bad fortune. 

So, why would the Korean women try to look like they have a 도화살, a bad fortune?

This is because 도화살 is an interesting bad fortune. The word "도화" literally means "peach blossoms" in Hanja. The word "도" means "peach" (for example, one type of peaches is called "천도" or sky peach), and "화" means "flower" (as in "국화" meaning chrysanthemum, or "화관" meaning flower crown). In pure Korean, one might instead say "복숭아꽃", where "복숭아" means "peach." So why would peach blossoms signify bad fortune?

Peach blossom, or 도화 in Korean

Peach blossoms are not necessarily known for their beauty (unlike roses, for example). Nonetheless, they have their own charms, and they have such delicious smell that entices the insects to flock to it. The insects (not just the bees and butterflies, but all sorts of terrible insects, too) apparently become addicted to the aroma of peach blossoms eventually, and they will die around the peach blossoms after pining for it for days (to be honest, I have no idea if this is true or not, but this is what the wise people of 사주팔자 say!)

In the olden-day Korea, where sex was viewed as a negative thing, it was said that if a woman has a 도화살 in her 사주팔자, then she would not be able to satisfy her needs with just one man, and that she would end up prostituting herself, or become a 기생 (Korean version of Geisha -- notice the similarities in the pronunciation!) If a man married a woman with a 도화살, he would lose all of his chi ("기," life energy) and die early. 

If a man had a 도화살, then he would eventually become enticed by drinking and women, and eventually lead his family into destruction. For this reason, whether someone had a 도화살 or not was an important question to ask each other before a marriage.

In Korean, if you have a 도화살, you say:

"나 도화살 있어." (I have 도화살).

However, times have changed. Sexuality is not so stigmatized anymore, and being attractive and charming is now a positive thing. For example, for celebrities, who make their living by attracting love and admiration from many people, it would be advantageous to have a 도화살 in their 사주팔자 (in fact, you can even have more than one!) and even the average Koreans started wishing for a 도화살.

현아, of the Gangnam Style fame, is another celebrity who is said to have 도화살.

People who are born with a strong 도화살 are said to have a certain look (remember that the Koreans believe that one can guess certain aspects of a person based on how they look!) -- in short, the people with a 도화살 have a certain pinkish sheen in their face that makes them look very attractive. Here is how the people with 도화살 supposedly look like:

- softly arched eyebrows, like the crescent moon

- light brown and moist eyes

- the "inner V" part of your eye should be sharp

- white and soft skin

- round nose

- long eyelashes

- red and plump lips

- brown hair (as opposed to jet black that is typical of Koreans)

- flushed cheeks

In particular, Koreans place a particular emphasis on how your eyes should look -- they should look like you had just cried, looking moist and red around the rim -- it's supposed to evoke the "instinct to protect" from men, "보호본능" in Korean. The upper lashline does not go up as they travel towards the outside of your eye, and maybe there is a beauty spot around your eye.

And this is why the pink and burgundy eyeshadows are popular in Korea! The Koreans try to use these reddish shades to create the look of the women with a 도화살, in the hopes that this look will bring them popularity.

It is mostly understood and accepted among the Koreans that 설리's face is more or less the textbook definition of how a woman with a 도화살 should look. Interestingly, in the early 1900's, there was a very famous 기생 (Geisha) of the Joseon Dynasty named 이난향 -- she must have had very strong 도화살, given her occupation. And she looks almost identical to 설리!

When this photo first surfaced, this freaked a lot of people out, and surely it contributed to the popularity of the 도화살 makeup.

And this is why 설리's nickname among the Koreans (fans and non-fans alike) is "인간복숭아," or "human peach." Not only does she remind people of a peach, people are also referring to the fact that it almost looks like she was fated to be a successful celebrity, and they are acknowledging the fact that 설리's 사주팔자 probably contains multiple 도화살s (the maximum number that you can have is four). You might say something like:

"설리는 도화살이 적어도 서너개는 될듯" (Sulli probably has 3-4 도화살s.)

Interestingly, the popular singer IU, who is good friends with 설리, wrote a song for 설리, titled "복숭아 (Peach)." The lyrics tell the irresistible charm of 설리, and you can pick up some descriptions of the 도화살 there.

To close this long post, let me explain how to tell if you have a 도화살. Go back to your Manse calendar, enter your birth data, and look at the bottom row of the eight Hanja characters.

- If the second character from the left (子 in the above example), or the last character (辰 in the above example) in the bottom row is one of 寅,午, or 戌, then you have a 도화살 if you can find the character "卯" in your set of eight Hanja characters.

-  If the second character from the left or the last character of the bottom row is one of 申,子, or 辰, then you have a 도화살 if you can find the character "酉" in your set of eight Hanja characters.

- If the second character from the left or the last character of the bottom row is one of 巳, 酉, or 丑, then you have a 도화살 if you can find the character "午" in your set of eight Hanja characters.

- If the second character from the left or the last character of the bottom row is one of 亥, 卯, or 未, then you have a 도화살 if you can find the character "子" in your set of eight Hanja characters.

There can be at most four 도화살, and the more 도화살 you have, the more of a femme (or homme) fatale you are. I have never seen 설리's 사주팔자, but I definitely wonder how many 도화살 she has! As for my attempt at the 도화살 makeup, while it didn't turn out too terribly, I decided to reserve it for the occasional days when I feel like trying something new.

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#112. 인실좆, 고소미 -- Three unexpected ways you can end up in a Korean court

Back in the 1990s when I lived in Korea, I remember watching a sitcom episode (I wish I remembered the title!) that featured a Korean-American family. While they mostly spoke Korean, they had a bit of an American attitude. They would mix in random English words in conversation (to brag that they know English), and they would behave in a stereotypical American way. One thing they constantly said to each other was:

"너 쑤할거야!" (I'm going to sue you! -- "쑤" is just the Koreaniztion of the English word "sue")

Koreans used to believe that the Americans take each other to court for the most trivial of reasons. Maybe they still believe this, I am not sure.

Whatever the case may have been in the 1990s, I actually think that the Koreans have become much more liberal about suing each other since then. And in the typical Korean fashion, the Koreans find humour out of the situation. For example, when they catch wind of the fact that you are engaged in a questionable behaviour, they may say various things. I have covered some of these sayings in a previous post, but here are some of the things the Koreans might say to you:

"너 고소미 먹어볼래?" (Do you want to taste "고소미 Gosomi"?)

Or

"인실좆 당해봐야 정신을 차리지" (You will only behave yourself when you have experienced "인실좆 Insiljot.")

Both of these things imply that you are about to get sued (or be charged with a crime) and face the Korean court, but Koreans rarely use the word "sue" ("고소" in Korean) in the Korean internet. The proper way to say that "You may get sued soon" would have been:

"너 곧 고소당할것 같아." (I think you'll get sued soon.)

In particular, "to get sued" in Korean is "고소당하다," but in informal speech, they may say instead "고소 먹다." Here, "먹다" is "to eat" in English, so the speaker would be saying that they got a taste of a lawsuit.

But the thing is, there is a brand of crackers in Korea called "고소미," which you can literally eat. So these (admittedly delicious) crackers became synonymous with "getting sued." So if someone talks about eating "고소미," more often than not, they're not actually talking about these crackers!

You can probably find these in your local Korean grocery store -- these are delicious and highly recommended!

Another expression that I mentioned above, "인실좆," is short for

"인생은 실전이다 좆만아." (Life is not a practice game, you baby.)

Here, "인생" means "life," and "실전" means "real battle." All four letters come from Hanja, and these are standard dictionary words. The slanginess of this phrase comes from the fact that the speaker is calling the listener "좆만이" (for example, if your friend's name is "김다솜," you often refer to her as "다솜이," and when you call her directly, you call her "다솜아!")

I have covered the word "좆 (vulgar slang for penis)" and phrases involving it in a couple of posts, and you can read about them here and here. In this particular instance, the name "좆만이" comes from the derogatory assertion that your listener is about as big as a penis ("좆만하다.") Turning that into a name-form, you drop the suffix "-하다" and turn it into "좆만이," like how "다솜" becomes "다솜이."

So in the above phrase, the speaker is:

1. Insulting the listener by asserting that the listener is nothing but a baby, since the listener is about as big as a penis, and

2. Telling the listener that they are about to experience the bitter taste of life, since there is no second try in a real battle.

While this phrase could be used anywhere, its shortened form "인실좆" is exclusively used for the Korean internet users to imply that because of the listener's mistake, they are about to get sued (and experience just how difficult life can get for them.) Nowadays, you can use "인실좆" as a noun that substitute the Korean word "고소," so that instead of "고소당하다 (getting sued)," you might "인실좆 당하다 (get to experience just how real life can get.)"

Of course, in calling someone a "좆만이," there is the air of forced toughness, or "허세" in Korean, on the speaker's part, and the nuance of the phrase ends up sounding a bit ridiculous, injecting some humour into the situation.

In a true display of 허세, you might decide to sue someone, watch them get dragged off by police officers, and when they pass by you in handcuffs, you might whisper in their ear: "인생은 실전이야, 좆만아" with a small smirk. A classic comic book moment!

And it turns out that it is easier to get sued in Korea than in America -- there are some actions that are considered to be a crime in Korean that are not crimes in the Western world. Here are three very common reasons for suing someone in Korea, that the Westerners would not have thought about:

1. 모욕죄 (the crime of insulting someone)

In the Western world, we mostly operate by the principle of "freedom of speech," and so uttering a simple insult is generally protected by the constitution. However, in Korea, a simple insult in public can be grounds for suing someone. According to the Korean criminal law:

311. Any one who intentionally insults another can be subject to incarceration of less than one year, or a fine of less than $2000 USD.

This law covers the case where one person publicly humiliates another via insults, in a way that the bystanders can tell who the insulted person is. So, in particular, if a Korean internet user goes on someone's Facebook profile, and posts vulgarity clearly directed at the owner of the page, the owner can take screenshots of these insults and head to the police station.

Note that this is different from slander; as long as the listener feels humiliated, you have committed a crime in the eyes of the Korean law, even if you may have spoken the truth.

And these laws get used frequently. There were 8488 lawsuits filed by the end of July in 2015, pertaining to online insults. And these lawsuits have been on the rise ever since.

For a culture that puts a lot of emphasis on saving face, this is not a completely unreasonable law, although it goes directly against the Western values! My feeling is that a lot of Koreans don't take this very seriously; some people view this as an opportunity for a small side income, and habitually sues anyone who insults them online. Others view this as a source of amusement, as there are many dramas related to one internet user trying to sue another (often, the drama concludes by a public apology by the offending party.)

2. 초상권 (the right to your portraits)

In the Western world, if you are in a public place, it is assumed that anyone can be recording you. Your right to privacy applies only in areas where you can reasonably expect privacy. 

That being said, if you read the Korean newspapers, you may have seen the blurred-out faces of the people in the background of a newspaper photo. In Korea, it is recognized that if you are photographed against your will and the photo distributed, the person can feel humiliation or embarrassment, and this act infringes on the right to privacy. So, unless you are explicitly doing acts that are presumably inviting photographers (such as leading a demonstration, or performing in the streets), you are not allowed to take photos of strangers and share it publicly.

If you're taking a photo of some celebrities in a crowd, make sure you blur out everyone's faces, except the celebrities' faces, since they are probably expecting to get photographed!

In fact, if someone posts photos on online communities or newspapers without blurring out the faces of the people in the background, someone will invariably point out that the photo needs to be edited. 

3. 상간 손해배상 (compensation for adultery)

Up until 2015, it was illegal to commit adultery! Adultery was a crime, and if the faithful spouse was able to provide clear evidence of adultery, the cheating spouse could go to jail for at least 6 months, but less than 2 years. (Fun fact: each sexual act could be counted as a separate instance of the crime!)

There was a surprising amount of hesitation getting rid of this law with the Korean public. They were afraid that their spouses would cheat with abandon, and with no regards to the consequences. The media reports that it is true that people started feeling less guilt about cheating since abolishing the adultery laws.

However, the non-cheating spouse can still ask for damages from not only their cheating spouse, but also the partner of the cheating spouse. As this is a civil matter and no longer criminal, depending on the extent of the damage, they can expect a fair bit of money to be awarded. Unlike the Western world, where anything that goes inside of your bedroom is your business, Koreans feel very differently. In fact, the divorce process is very different as well -- the cheating spouse cannot initiate divorce procedures in Korea, although people think this will change in the future.

So, take care not to trip yourself up while in Korea! I am sure there are other laws that are different, but these three are the ones that I hear about the most online, while being very different from the Western legal perspectives. While the cracker 고소미 may be tasty, I am sure the taste of the Korean court will not be the same.

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#107. 좆만하다, 좆밥 -- You couldn't be any more irrelevant

Here is a word that shows the viciousness of the Korean internet users.

Let's start with the word "좆," which I explained in a previous post; in short, it is a vulgar slang for "penis," and it is used in several expressions that are meant for insult, or for venting one's frustration. The word I want to talk about in this post is also based on the word "좆," but it is a bit more insult-like than just saying "좆같다 (despite the vulgarity, it mostly just means "it sucks")"

I love puppies!

Say that you are arguing with a user online about a topic (in the Korean internet lingo, we say that you're engaged in a "키보드배틀," or that you are "키배뜬다".) During the exchange, it becomes clear to you that the other user has no idea what he is talking about. Perhaps you are arguing about the best computer specifications to play some game, and it is clear that the other user only has beginner's level equipment.

One way to insult him is to say

"좆만한 새끼야, 까불지 마" (Don't brag, you baby.)

"까불다" is a verb that means to frolic to draw attention, or be overly cheery and loud. It is used to describe the class clowns, or a little child cheerfully and loudly showing off some random skill that he learned from his friends. It can just be a positive quality (focusing on the cheery and outgoing part of the personality) or it can be a negative quality (focusing on the fact that the person likes to be in the centre of attention, regardless of whether they deserve it or not).

"좆만하다" means that you believe that your listener is about as big as a penis (and the underlying assumption is, of course, that the penis in question is tiny!) So by drawing this comparison, you are implying that the listener only has a small bit of experience, and that they are no more than a baby and a newbie. (As an aside, "-만하다" is a comparison in size; "사과만하다" means "as big as an apple," etc.)

But then you can go one level higher, and tell him:

"좆밥같은 새끼가 어디서 까불어?" (Look where you're bragging, you irrelevant sh*t!)

The insult is in the word "좆밥." We already know that the letter "좆" means "penis." From the phrase "좆밥같은," you can tell that the above sentence is comparing your opponent in your keyboard battle to a penis. (Another aside, "-같은" is a comparison in quality; "사과같다" means "looks/feels like an apple")

However, there is so much more than that to this insult.

The letter "밥" has many meanings; while its primary meaning is "boiled rice," this is not what it means in this case. The letter "밥" also means "crumbs," especially the residue left after working on some material with tools. So, in Korean, "sawdust" is "톱밥," literally "saw crumbs."

Other words that use this suffix are "귓밥" (ear crumbs, i.e. earwax; this is actually not correct according to the dictionary -- it should mean earlobes, but Koreans use it to mean earwax anyway) and "실밥" (the threads forming the stitches after an injury).

So what in the world is "좆밥"? Koreans use it to mean the residue left on the folds of your penis when you don't wash it carefully. Disgusting, I know. So you are basically insulting your opponent by saying that they are so irrelevant, and that they are more or less equivalent to the residue on your penis.

The skater Adelina Sotnikova is often referred to as "형광나방," or "fluorescent moth" among the Koreans.

So, for example, the Koreans still hate the figure skater Adelina Sotnikova, because they believe that she stole the gold medal that rightfully belongs to Kim Yuna (and all things considered, Kim Yuna has much better records than Adelina Sotnikova). So they might say:

"김연아 좆밥새끼가 까부네." (That b*tch who is about as relevant as the residue on Kim Yuna's penis (?!?!?!) is bragging again.)

It sounds awkward when you think about its meaning, since Kim Yuna surely doesn't have a penis! Yet this phrase does get used, because the Koreans don't think carefully about the etymology of the insult words; they know that "좆밥" means "not even worthy of comparison" but they rarely think about what the word actually means.

This is possibly one of the reasons why Korean profanity tends to be a lot more aggressive and extreme compared to the English profanity. While most of the anglophone profanity retain their meaning, the Korean profanity does not; as soon as a word becomes popular, people usually become desensitized to the actual meaning behind the words, and they are off to find the next exciting word soon afterwards.

If you wanted to be slightly less vulgar while conveying the same meaning, you can say instead:

"김연아 발톱의 때만도 못한게 까부네" (That b*tch who is less relevant than the residue on Kim Yuna's toenail residues is bragging again.)

While conveying approximately the same idea, this word uses words from the dictionary, and is much less of a slang.

In any case, I would refrain from using this word in real life, but if you ever engage in a keyboard battle, go ahead and use it, by all means! It is definitely an insult, but not the one that the listener would take very seriously. You might occasionally see your very close male friends use it on each other (if you are male), but I would not want to be the one to initiate the usage of this word, especially if you are not familiar with the Korean words and their nuances.

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#85. 좆같다 -- That sucks

Here's a phrase that you will hear a lot from the Korean men (women tend to be a lot less foul-mouthed than men in Korea in general). When something doesn't go well, or when something that they didn't anticipate happens, they might mutter in anger and frustration:

"진짜 좆같네." (This really sucks.)

This vulgar expression and its derivations are one of the most common profanity that you will hear in Korea. While the Koreans probably have an idea of what this phrase actually means, most of them use it without really thinking. (That being said, please please please do not use this expression in front of polite company. You use it with your good buddies, or when you are really angry.)

Koreans all know that "좆" is a very vulgar slang word for "penis." However, this word appears a lot in Korean profanity, and it is likely that Koreans are almost never referring to a penis (or even thinking about one) while they are swearing using this word.  In formal writing, you should say "성기 (reproductive organ -- can use for vagina as well!)" or "음경 (penis).

A less offensive slang word for penis is "고추," which writes and sounds exactly like the Korea word for "hot peppers." By the way, one of the Korean proverbs goes: "작은 고추가 맵다," which translates to "the smallest hot pepper is the spiciest." Wait, what?!

 But once you start thinking about what this expression means, you will see that it's actually a fascinating expression! It's so fascinating that its vulgarity almost goes away (key word: almost).

When you are in a frustrating situation, by saying "좆같네" you are saying that this situation is "like a penis." How so?

Well, the situation is beyond your control, just like how you can't always control your penis. And despite the fact that it is beyond your control, you often get into trouble for failing to control the situation. Ugh! (Not that I'd know, I'm a woman, in case you haven't realized it yet.) So, many Koreans are actually unconsciously drawing a really interesting and hilarious analogy between two situations beyond their control.

You can also build on this analogy a bit further (actually, there are countless expressions using the word "좆," but let me postpone the other meanings to other posts, and stick to this one particular aspect -- the uncontrollability of your penis -- for now). Say that you are working with a bunch of people on a project, and you have been put in charge. One person in particular refuses to pull his weight, disagrees with the group, and is in general hard to control.

You could decide to badmouth him with the rest of the group, and one of the common expressions that you might choose to use is:

"아, 저 좆같은 새끼!" (Literally - Ugh, that penis of a bastard! Nuance - That asshole!)

Again, you would be more correct than you originally intended, in the sense that you made an unconscious analogy between the guy that is the source of your frustrations, and how your libido is hard to curb.

No one should be swearing like this in front of you, if they respect you. But unfortunately, you will probably hear this word every now and then. Instead of being offended by the vulgarity of the expression, maybe we could be secretly amused and give the offending party some credit for an (unwittingly) well-constructed metaphor!

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