Wednesday, July 12, 2017

#63. Beware of the vixen (Shamanism 3)

Gather around with your roasted chestnuts and a blanket, lie on the warmest part of the stone-heated floor, and I'll tell you some stories from my childhood that my grandparents have told me. Through the "folklore" series of this blog, you will get to meet the Korean deities and the demons, which form the basis of the modern Korean shamanism as well. I will upload a folklore every Wednesday.

There are several aspects of the ancient shamanism that survived up to the modern day Korea.

One aspect is called "풍수지리." It can be decomposed into three parts: 풍 + 수 + 지리.
  • 풍 means "wind" in Chinese. For example, you will see on your fan the option "강풍" meaning "strong wind," as well as "약풍" meaning "weak wind, or breeze."
  • 수 means "water" in Chinese. "수요일," or "Wednesday" is the day of the water. "생수" means "mineral water" and "약수" means "water that's good for you like a medicine."
  • 지리 means "geography."
In the Korean shamanism, "풍수지리" refers to the belief that the geography (how your house is situated, for example) is linked to your luck and misfortune. Sounds crazy, but some people believe it to this day.

Another aspect is called "관상." This word means that depending on how your face looks (each type of face is called a "상,") your fate is already determined by the heavens. Sounds crazy, but people still believe it. A very light usage of this classifies the Korean women into "강아지상" and "고양이상," i.e. a puppy-type face and a kitten-type face. But there are hundreds of different "상"s in the study of 관상 ("관상학," it's called.) The Korean shamans are said to be able to look at someone's face, and read off their future.

The left is considered a clear puppy-type face, the right a clear kitten-type face. Do you agree?


The Koreans learn about these things through various folklore. I was never taught any of this, as my family was a fairly strict Roman Catholic family. But my grandparents still told me these stories, from which I learned how the shamanism worked.

Here is a story about the shamanism, and a vixen ("여우"). Just like in the western folklore, foxes are usually portrayed as negative beings, presumably because they were always killing livestock. In the Korean folklore, however, foxes are always female. They can transform themselves into humans (often beautiful women, although not always), and they are very good at misleading humans into thinking that they are seeing things. The phrase "여우에 홀리다" is something that many Koreans grow up hearing. The Korean vixen are often malicious, magical, and evil. Unlike the 도깨비, you want to stay away from them. If you do encounter them, you want to try your hardest to kill them, because otherwise they will kill you.



Thus begins another story of my childhood, through which I learned about 풍수지리, 관상, and 여우.

========================================================================

Once upon a time, there lived a father with his three sons. The father was very ill, and he soon passed away. The sons were preparing for his funeral in their sorrow, when a Buddhist monk ("중") passed by. Being faithful in heart, the three brothers invited him in, and fed him, to show their respect for the Buddha.

The monk, in his gratitude, offered to the three sons:

"I learned a little bit of 풍수지리 during my meditations. If you'd like, I can tell you where to bury your father so that your family will prosper through the coming years."

The sons gratefully accepted this offer, and the monk looked around their village with the three sons. The monk stopped at one spot. He hesitated for a while, looked carefully at each of the brothers' faces, then said to himself, "I believe that the youngest can withstand it."

He then told the three sons, "this plot here is very good (in Korean, such a good plot to bury the dead in your family is called "명당" -- if you manage to find such a plot, your family will prosper), if you can keep your father here." The three sons were confused about why they might not be able to keep their father there, but as the monk had claimed this plot to be 명당, they went ahead and buried their father there.

That night, the eldest son had a dream. Their father appeared in his dream and begged, "I can't sleep peacefully here. Please bury me somewhere else." The eldest son, upon waking up, told his two brothers about his dream, but as the two brothers still believed the monk, they decided to keep their father there.

The next night, the second son had a dream, in which the father begged him to please move him elsewhere. Again, the three sons talked, but the youngest son convinced the other two to keep the father at the plot.

The next night, the youngest son had a dream. His father appeared in his dream and begged him, "I already begged your brothers to move me, but they will not listen. Will you please tell your brothers to move me?"

The youngest son, being suspicious, said, "as you are standing in the dark, I cannot properly see you. Will you please come out and let me look upon your face one more time?"

The father then said, "I am already beginning to look terrible. But I will let you hold my hand, like how you used to when I was alive." The youngest son agreed, and the father held out his hand.

The youngest, holding tightly onto the hand, called out his servants, and called out:

"The dead cannot come back to life and walk. This is surely a demon pretending to be my father. Bring your clubs and kill this thing!"

When the servants came with their clubs, it seemed to them that the youngest son was holding onto their long-dead mother. They hesitated to lift their clubs against their old mistress and a woman, but the youngest was adamant, and the servants eventually clubbed the mother to death.

As soon as the woman breathed her last breath, the woman turned into a dead vixen.

In their astonishment, the three brothers sought out the monk and told him of their experience. The monk said, "The 명당 that I had sought out for you had one fault; a vixen was living in it. I knew that the vixen would try various things to get the plot back and also to harm you. But I also knew, upon looking at your faces, that the youngest son would be match enough for the vixen."

Thus they were able to bury their father in a 명당, and true to the monk's word, their family prospered for a long time after that.

========================================================================

Lastly, notice how a Buddhist monk also knew 풍수지리, which is an aspect of shamanism! Through its long history, a lot of the Korean religions mixed with one another to create a unique brand of religion. This is fairly common to this day.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

#62. 종특 -- I expected nothing less from you people

You might have noticed that the Koreans can be slightly insensitive about racism and the ensuing stereotypes. I like to attribute this to the fact that Korea is originally formed exclusively of Asians, and it has not been long since the "foreigners" have started moving to Korea to live.

I, for one, had not seen any non-Koreans until I was about seven or eight, and when I first saw a non-Korean, I was genuinely shocked and amazed that this person was so different from everyone else I knew. I knew it was rude to stare, but I definitely stole way too many glances at this foreigner.

This maybe seems pretty close-minded and negative, but I think that there is also a good side to this. I grew up with almost no preconceived stereotypes about ethnicity, because this was not a topic that ever came up in conversations. After all, we were all descended from the same person according to mythology, and no one knew a lot about cultural differences! So when I did move to North America to live, I was mostly unaware of the racism or racial tension. And when I did start to learn about stereotypes, I was old enough to immediately tell that they were wrong, and these ideas were much easier to reject.

Nevertheless, now that Korea has become a lot more multicultural (we of course still have a long way to go!), these stereotypes began forming a bit. There isn't a particular widely used word for racial stereotypes in Korean (maybe it could translate as "인종적 편견" but again, the history of stereotypes in Korea is relatively short), so the Korean internet users made up a new one. For example, the following sentences might be seen on the Korean internet:

"한국인의 종특은 스타크래프트이다." (The 종특 of Korea is Starcraft.)
(On seeing a good-looking Arab man) "우와, 아랍인 종특 나오네!" (Wow, he's exuding the Arab 종특!)
(On seeing a charming Italian) "이탈리아 종특 부럽다." (I'm envious of the Italian 종특.)
(On seeing an outgoing American) "천조국 종특 경외스럽다." (I'm awestruck by the American 종특.)
Maybe from these contexts, you can guess what the word "종특" is supposed to mean -- it means a particular characteristic -- often stereotypical in nature -- of an ethnicity. Koreans are good at Starcraft, Arab men are good looking, Italians are good with words, and Americans are extroverted and friendly.

The word "종특" is a shortened form of "종족의 특징." The word "종족" is a bit funny, because it is almost never used in real life. It means "species, tribe, or a particular strain," and it gets used in fantasy novels or games for the most part. For example, the Hobbits are a 종족, as are the elves, goblins, and dwarves. The word "특징" just means "characteristic," although in the Korean usage, it might be better to translate it as "defining characteristic."

So "종특" really means "characteristic of a species." In a way, it is slightly derogatory because the humans are, of course, a single species. Insects and animals have multiple species, so it almost brings everyone (including that of the speaker) down to the level of non-humans, and talks about the defining characteristic. So I suppose its nuance borders vulgarity and humour.

Of course, you can easily imagine that this word can be used negatively as well. Interestingly enough, most negative usages of the word I've seen come from Koreans being critical of themselves. For example, Koreans might say:
성격이 급해서 새치기를 하는건 한국인 종특인듯 (One characteristic of the Korean species is that they are impatient and they often cut the line)
김치 먹어봤냐고 물어보는건 한국인 종특이냐? (Is it characteristic of the Korean species to ask everyone whether they have tried kimchi?)
But for some reason, I rarely see this word being used to be critical of other ethnicity that are not Korean. While I think stereotyping is not healthy (and the Koreans also seem to be aware of it, as they would probably never use it in real life unless they were with very close friends), maybe this makes it slightly better?

Monday, July 10, 2017

#61. 짤방 -- Pictures included

In case you haven't noticed, I have a new page on my website, which is an alphabetized list of the Korean slang that I have covered so far, and you can find the link on the sidebar for desktop, and if you scroll down on mobile. Alternatively, just click here for the Korean Slang Dictionary. I plan to add to it as I add more posts here!

If you have spent any time on the Korean internet, you have surely seen the word "짤" or "짤방." It's not too hard to figure out what this is supposed to mean, as the posts are often titled in a straightforward way; for example, a post might be simply titled "웃긴 짤" (or "funny 짤" in English). When you open the said post, it often contains a single photo and nothing else.

Whatever "짤" is supposed to mean, we end up guessing that "짤" means either a photo or a gif after browsing through the internet for a few moments.

Although I knew the meaning of this word for a long time, I only recently found out where this word comes from -- the letter "짤" really has nothing to do with the Korean words meaning pictures. The natural choices would have been "사진" or "gif," after all!

It turns out that the word "짤방" comes from "짤림방지." And "짤" is a further simplification of "짤방." The word "짤림" is already slang for "잘림," which means "being cut."

If you're fired from work, or if you didn't pass the audition, you can say
나 짤렸어 (I got cut).
By the way, the phrase "나 잘렸어" is almost too formal, and most Koreans would actually use the slang "나 짤렸어."

Here's another context where you can use the word "짤리다." In a moderated website, contents not meeting the requirements of the websites can get censored by the moderators. It could be violent/explicit content, but it could also be an arbitrarily imposed rule. In fact, many Korean websites stipulate that you must include a picture with your posts, in order to increase readability and reduce haphazard posts (In fact, DC Inside automatically inserts a photo!)

So Koreans started inserting random pictures into their posts to prevent ("방지" in Korean) being cut ("짤림" in Korean). And when you post pictures unrelated to the content of your post, you would often just explain that the photo is there to prevent censorship, by typing out:
사진은 짤림방지 (photo is preventing censorship)
And from this phrase, the usage degenerated into "사진 = 짤림방지 (photo = preventing censorship)" and people started calling "사진" as "짤림방지," soon shortened as "짤방" or "짤."

This usage is incredibly common online, although only among the younger people. On the bright side, it is a non-offensive usage!!

Sunday, July 9, 2017

#60. 교과서 튜닝 -- Improving your school experience

One of the most striking thing when I moved from Korea to North America was the fact that you don't own your textbooks (called 교과서 in Korean). In North America (at least, in my experience!) the textbooks in schools are bought in bulk in hardcover, and rented to the student for the semester. If you damage it, you have to pay a penalty or replace it, so you take very good care of your textbook.

On the other hand, in Korea, you are provided all of your textbooks (free of charge, if I remember correctly), which are paperbacks and quite small -- the textbooks are smaller not because Koreans learn less in school, but because they have many more subjects, often around 15 or so. I've also found that the North American schools pick and choose the units being covered from the textbooks, while the Koreans tend to cover everything that is in the textbook. The Korean textbooks are often very dense and to-the-point as well.

A set of grade seven textbooks. From the top, Math, Social Studies, Korean 1&2, Music, English, Career Studies, Physical Education, Health, Informatics, Science, Home Economics and Technology, and Appendix to Social Studies.

Anyway, you own these books, and you are free to take notes, or write on your textbooks as you please. What do the Korean 급식s do when you suddenly get a bunch of free books that you don't really care about?

Well, you set out to create an internet legend. The practice of "교과서 튜닝" or "textbook tuning" has been popular for several decades, and it is still going strong. In Korean, "튜닝" or "tuning" almost exclusively means "doing some modifications to improve the object." It is often used in the context of cars, but in this case, it is applied to textbooks.

Usually, your goal is to modify a page (or the cover) of the textbook to make it funnier. If you do a good job, your post achieves the fifteen minutes of internet fame. Here are some examples of what the Korean students do in their free time.

Left is original, right is modified. She looks more stylish, for sure!

Left is original (wearing the Korean traditional clothing called 한복), and right is modified.

The title reads "torture and massacre (already twenty people)." You have to think a little, but the original title of the textbook was "과학" meaning "Science." Some words were added in to make "고문과 학살."

The original textbook was called "문학 (하)," or "literature (volume 2)." The title has been changed to "항문 학대, 고문(하)자." This means "abusing your anus, let's torture." Can you imagine carrying this around for the entire year?


You can be as creative as you want with these textbooks, and almost everyone does it at some point. Ask your Korean friends about their experiences with 교과서 튜닝, and you'll hear some amusing answers!

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Listening exercise with transcript #10: Aggravation

In a previous post, I had talked about hostile behaviour against many people, in order to provoke them and create a fight (= internet entertainment.) Such a behaviour is called "어그로," or as a verb, "어그로를 끌다." I also gave an example of such a behaviour, done by a national news outlet.

Here is another example of 어그로, also done by a national news outlet MBC (one of the three largest broadcasting companies in Korea.) Although it's been a long time since this clip was broadcast, the content of the clip propelled it to a legendary status, and it is still talked about in the Korean internet. As always, transcript and explanation follows:


20여명의 학생들이 컴퓨터 게임에 몰입해 있는 또 다른 PC방.
곳곳에 관찰 카메라를 설치한 뒤 게임이 한창 진행중인 컴퓨터의 전원을 순간적으로 모두 꺼 봤습니다.
(Dialogue already subtitled).
순간적인 상황 변화를 받아들이지 못하고 곳곳에서 욕설과 격한 반응이 터져나옵니다. 폭력게임의 주인공처럼 난폭하게 변해 버린겁니다.
(Interview already subtitled).

The news outlet wanted to make the point of the harmful effects of video games. In order to prove its point, it heads out to an internet cafe (called PC방 in Korean, meaning PC room) and shuts down the power for a moment. The people playing games in the internet cafe are of course frustrated and start yelling out and swearing. This quite clearly proves the point that gamers turn violent... yes?

I chose a news clip for this week, not only for its entertainment value, but also because this is one of the best sources to practice your Korean if you wanted to hear clear Korean. Try following along, as the reporter speaks quite slowly and clearly!

A few years later, SNL Korea did a parody of this clip (mostly subtitled):

Friday, July 7, 2017

#59. A rose can bloom even in a garbage dump

It's been over two months since this blog started; over two months of learning internet slang for you!

If any of you have tried venturing into the Korean internet forums, you have probably still found it difficult to understand many posts. This is because the Koreans use a lot of profanity, I have not covered all the slang that are used frequently yet, and new slang is born all the time. Besides, you want to ease into the Korean internet, and not start off in the lawless lands like DC Inside's baseball gallery or ilbe, where things get really ugly.

Instead, consider spending a little bit of time in the Plants Gallery of DC Inside (식물갤러리, or 식갤 for short in Korean)

In order to tell you about what is special about this Gallery, I have to first tell you a little bit about DC Inside (디씨인사이드 or 디씨 for short). I have always explained DC Inside as being Korea's Reddit. This explanation is partly true; DC Inside is split into many sub-forums called "Galleries"  (갤러리 or 갤 for short), much like the subreddits. For most interesting topics (or many celebrities, even), there exists a gallery, or "gall," dedicated to it.

But there is one major difference; each "gall" acts as if they are an independent nation (remember, Koreans really care about belonging to a community!) Many galls are either in alliance or at war with another. And sometimes, users of a particular gall "go to war" with another gall (here, you don't use the word "전쟁하다" which means the actual war; the word you want to use is "털다," which is closer to "to plunder.") You accomplish this by invading your target gall with hundreds or thousands of other users, and putting up 도배글 all over their gall. Then the original users of your target gall are annoyed, they fight with you, and when the users from your gall have largely taken over their gall, you have won. This is the largest scale of 어그로 you will see on the Korean internet, and it happens more frequently than you would think.

If the celebrity 민호 insults another celebrity 준영? Well, the users of 준영갤러리 are probably gearing up for a plundering of 민호갤러리 (they probably tell each other, "민호갤러리 털러가자" or "let's go plunder 민호갤러리.") Even if there are no outside catalysts, people do it just for fun. Sometimes one person can singlehandedly take over a gall if they're good at pulling an 어그로.

Even without all these plundering, the users of DC Inside are known for being rough. They are often rough with their choice of words, and they often egg each other on to do stupid things (daring each other to eat insects, and posting picture proofs, and so on.)

For these reasons, Koreans often describe DC Inside as a garbage dump. They are more or less correct with this description.

With the exception of 식물갤러리. The users there do not use profanity. Even when someone is trying to rile them up, they are so courteous that the 관종 regains his senses, and becomes ashamed of his behaviour. The users of 식물갤러리 (often called "식갤러" meaning plants gallery-ers) just really love trees and plants, and that's all. One Korean has eloquently described it as "the national park amongst the dumpsters (쓰레기장속의 국립공원)." There are many instances where 식갤 proved its worth, but I would like to show you just a couple of very short ones. Consider it another round of 성지순례!

성지 #1. A user, upon hearing that 식물갤러리 is very clean, takes it upon himself as a challenge, and tries to troll the gall-ers, by writing a 낚시글.

He writes, "Hey Plants Gall-ers (식갤러), I just plucked a flower and threw it out" as his title. In the body of his post, he simply writes "부들부들?" which describes "shaking in anger" (since he put a question mark, he really means, "Are you shaking in anger yet?") He expects that everyone will be upset, and that they will start swearing at him to get him off their gall.


Contrary to his expectation, he gets the following comment in his post. One of the 식갤러 has written:
"Normal people only look at the flower when they look at plants, and don't look at the leaves or the stem. For this reason, even though the others might judge you harshly by this one post, I will imagine that your inside (내면) is beautiful (just like how stems and leaves might still be beautiful with an ugly flower). I hope that at a later time, your flower can also be beautiful, so that you can be loved by the others."

He probably apologized at this point and just left the gall, because how do you troll something like that?

성지 #2. Korea's weightlifter 장미란 has won a gold medal in the Olympics. As a celebration, the Korean internet users decide to plunder 식물갤러리, because her name contains the word "장미" which is a plant (yes, totally a valid reason to plunder a gall). Many people spontaneously gather in 식갤 and start posting random things on their gall.

Instead of cursing them out or being annoyed, the original 식갤러 are excited that their gall is so active! So they decide to share the things that they love the most. One gall-er posts some pictures of beautiful roses (장미) for the plunderers, because he wants to celebrate 장미란's win.

 And the internet users, who had originally thought of plundering the gall, instead leave heartwarming comments and disappear. It's really hard to troll in the absence or reaction! Most of the sentences below are standard Korean, so you should be able to translate them, but I will give you the words that are slang below, so that the translation is easier.


횽 is slang for 형, meaning "older brother." In this case, they are calling each other by a respectful form (it doesn't usually happen on the internet, but you're on 식갤).

대인배 means a generous person.

상투스 is not a slang, it is the Latin word "sanctus," meaning "holy." They are talking about holy hymns often sung in large-scale masses.

정화 is also not a slang, but it gets used a few times -- it just means "to purify."



So, this is not a bad place to start your exploration of the Korean internet forums. Firstly, they are not vulgar, so understanding them is a lot easier than understanding other internet users. Secondly, they are so courteous, and if you had decided to try out using your Korean, I would imagine that they would very respectfully help you with it. Finally, maybe you'll learn a thing or two about plants!

Thursday, July 6, 2017

#58. 미만잡 -- You don't reach my standards

There are many ways to entertain yourself in the Korean internet scene. You could, for example, engage in the hobby of 어그로 끌기 (usually by saying something controversial and enraging many people at once, which is not unlike trolling), you could produce a lot of funny 드립s to bask in the glory of your witticisms, or you could play a little game of 낚시 to spread false information and see who falls for it.

Here's one other way to be annoying on the Korean internet without bringing on a full-scale keyboard war. Suppose that you found someone who was bragging about her achievements. She is talking about how she is a student of 연세대학교 (Yonsei University, often regarded as one of the top schools in Korea), how her relatives gave her a new iPhone for her birthday, how people say that she looks like a well-known k-pop girl group member, and she is going on and on.

While you don't feel that you have the energy to get into a fight with her, you want to annoy her a tiny bit. So as she is writing things about herself, you start adding these little comments to her writing. When she writes that she goes to Yonsei University, you comment:
대학은 서울대 미만잡.
The word "미만잡" comes from two Korean words. The first part, "미만" means "less than." For example, the inequality "2 < 5" is translated to "5는 2 미만이다." It also gets used in sentences such as "You will not be offered admission if your score is less than 70," which is translated to Korean as "70점 미만의 점수로는 입학허가가 나지 않습니다." The second word, "잡," has been written about before. It comes from the word "잡종" which means "mutt." Korea used to have a caste system, and people belonging to the lowest caste were often called "잡것" (mutt thing). So the word "잡" carries a very negative connotation and is insulting when you hear it.

This means that the word "미만잡" signifies something along the lines of "anything less than a given standard is a mutt thing (i.e. useless and irrelevant)." Therefore, by the above quote, you are saying that "no matter what university you go to, unless you go to Seoul University, you are nothing more than a mutt thing."

In this case, it's more humorous than anything, since everyone knows that Yonsei University is actually a great school. But by saying the above phrase, you are just being annoying, and slightly insulting the girl for not having made it into Seoul University (Seoul University is almost certainly more elite than Yonsei University in the Korean system.)

You can continue to annoy her, by saying the following things too. When she brags about her new iPhone gift, you can say:
선물은 현금 미만잡. (Any gift less than cash is irrelevant)
When she talks about her beautiful face, you can tell her:
얼굴은 김태희 미만잡. (Any face less than Kim Tae Hee's face is irrelevant)
This is 김태희, often considered the most beautiful actress by many Koreans.

 While you are obviously setting a very high standard and no one is expected to meet all of them, if you keep saying things along these lines, you are sure to be annoying! By the way, there is a verb for behaving in this kind of subtle annoying way: you can say that you are "깐족거리다." (For example, the girl that you are annoying might tell you, "깐족거리니까 진짜 짜증나네." -- you are annoying because you are "깐족거리다.")

Of course, there is another context in which you can use the word "미만잡." Suppose that you are a fan of a k-pop group (for convenience, let's just say that we're all fans of IOI.) In order to advocate how great your group is, you could tell everyone:
IOI 미만잡 (Anything less than IOI is irrelevant).
 The difference between the two meanings are always clear depending on the context.

IOI was a girl group produced via a survival program. They were very popular although they disbanded after a year.
 This is of course a slang popular among the younger generation of Korea. As you traverse up in age group, the word "잡" is more and more offensive (because the older generation probably remembers the days of the caste system more clearly). With your friends, you should be able to use this word without offending people (although it depends on what you do with the word!) while I would stay away from using this word with the people of the older generation.